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rebekah: hey guys. it’s bex here and i’mback again with my good friend grace smith from gracesmithtv.com. i made a video recentlyabout my natural birth experience by accident, because i was on my friend’s podcast andhe asked me a question about my own home birth experience with my last baby, baby numberfive, and i kind of flipped out in the video. i was like sweating and yelling and gettingall excited. but we actually did an entire series of videos on hypnobirthing becauseyou teach that as a hypnotherapist. grace: yes. rebekah: and this is the follow-up. so we’regoing to get some real information, because you’re going to ask me real questions.

rebekah: and i’m not going to scream, ipromise. grace: i don’t know if that’s a promisewe can keep, but let’s see. ok. well, one of the reasons we want to do this follow-upis when we did our series, you were pregnant. rebekah: yes. grace: you have never done a hypnobirth before. rebekah: uh-uh. grace: so some of the things we had discussed,it was really hard for you to believe. rebekah: i didn’t believe it. grace: you were skeptical.

rebekah: yeah. grace: didn’t believe it at all and i thinkit’s really important for everyone here to understand what your experience was likebecause every woman is different and yet there are some congruencies. there are some themesof experience throughout hypnobirthing that you just can’t believe until you have meta pregnant woman who was skeptical, who then had a hypnobirth and can talk about it. so the first thing i just want to ask youis, “how did this birth, your fifth baby, compare to all of your other birthing experiencessince this one was a hypnobirth?” rebekah: i wanted to say that for people whodon’t know me, i’ve had five babies. i

had two with epidurals, one natural in a hospital,one natural at home, and then the last one at home with the hypnosis experience. grace: yeah. rebekah: how did it compare? well, it wasnot scary and i think that that was the number one thing that was important because removingthe fear around the pain of labor, of contractions of childbirth is the number one thing that’sgoing to give you the good birth experience. i wasn’t scared with the first three buti was also having the experience of being on drugs. grace: right.

rebekah: so that took away every sensation,not just pain. it was a complete disconnect from the birthing experience and the thirdthat i had natural in the hospital, because it was so frantic and it wasn’t naturalby choice, it was because the drugs weren’t working, that was very fast and i didn’thave time to process anything. so i was again disconnected from the birth experience. my first home birth was great but it was terrifyingand i was in tremendous amount of pain and i was crying and i was fearful and i feltthat i couldn’t do it. i couldn’t finish the birth. i wanted to go to the hospital.i was trying to bribe my husband. so by fear, leaps and bounds, this last birthwas more pleasurable. i was more connected.

the recovery time was shorter. i was happier.i didn’t suffer from post-partum depression at all which i’ve experienced in the past.it was just better. it was just good versus not good, to sum it up. grace: and that’s the whole premise of hypnobirthing,which is that typically the birthing experience in the modern age is one where there is thispain for your cycle. you’re afraid of having a child because everyone has been tellingyou horror stories or perhaps you had a baby and it was extremely traumatic. many people have had traumatic births andthen they haven’t done anything to help themselves process that or heal that. so they’reterrified about the next birthing experience

or they’re even waiting to have childrenor they don’t have any more children because it was so terrifying. that fear causes you to clench up and putsyou in fight-or-flight-about-to-run mode, which is not the open receptive birthing positionthat a woman needs to be in. when you’re afraid and you’re tight, then it is goingto hurt more. rebekah: right, because your actual uterusand your cervix are not working with you, to be able to have the baby. grace: and then when you feel the pain, youbecome more afraid. so you tighten up even more and it becomes even more difficult. withhypnosis, you are automatically relaxed. therefore

the process itself – i want to talk aboutpain in just a second, that word “pain”. but because you’re relaxed, you’re notas afraid or you’re not afraid at all and the birthing process is happening naturallyand you are opening up. so now, hypnobirthing does not promise a pain-freebirth. that is not what it’s promising. however, there have been women who have saidas a result of the hypnobirthing experience, “i did not feel what i would call pain.i would call it pressure.” so i want to know for you what that was like. rebekah: something i did not share in theother video but i think is so important to hear is that i started my labor at 2:00 amin the morning and i went through the entire

day laboring before i had my baby at 10:30at night the next day. at 11:00 am that morning, we went to go seemy midwives and i felt that my contractions had stalled. i was really disappointed. solike i thought i was having the baby today but it’s not going to happen. so they hookedme up to the monitor. they checked my contractions and they asked me how it’s feeling. i said,“i feel fine. but i’m really disappointed that it’s not happening.” they showed me. i was contracting very stronglyduring that entire time. i felt nothing at all because i was so relaxed and i was – andi was just going with the contractions. i was walking – before we went there, we werewalking around my farm and i would feel one

come on. i would rock it out a little bit.i’m like, “oh, i’m having a contraction.” i had no idea that it was powerful enoughto actually make my birth progress and get closer. so that was incredible. the difference betweenpain and pressure, with baby number four, it was pain. it was scary. it was all thestuff that comes along with the word “pain,” like all those fear – those ideas of fearand those feelings of fear. with this one, it was an overwhelm and notin a bad way. it was literally something overwhelming my entire body that i had no control overand i was releasing all control. i was cool with that and it was very intense but notscary. i welcomed it. i knew that with every

single one of these sensations, my baby wasgetting closer. so it was excitement. it was like, “all right, this is cool.” i stillyelled and screamed. rebekah: but my midwife said – i think shehas had lots and lots of hypnobabies and this – but some women yell and scream. some womenare completely silent and that has nothing to do with the pain level. it’s just yourbody’s reaction and i’m a yeller like just in life. i’m like this. so i was like, “ahh!” and that was inservice to me because it helped push that baby down even faster. grace: absolutely.

rebekah: when she came, i didn’t even knowshe was coming. i didn’t – she was out and on my belly and i was like – that quickly,it was very intense. there was a ton of pressure and i felt it, but i was connected to it.i welcomed it and it was exciting. it was ecstasy. rebekah: not orgasmic. grace: right. some people have had that. it’sstill a minority. i know you still don’t believe it … rebekah: i have to witness it. i have to seeit. grace: this is a very typical experience inthe sense that the mothers that i have worked

with that i have taught hypnobirthing andwho have given me feedback and then from the thousands of testimonials of hypnobirthingmothers have just said, “i was more connected to the experience than ever before and itwas the most intense thing i’ve ever been through in my life. it was ecstasy.” grace: and so this is not like you’re sittingback, your feet are up, you’re drinking a cup of tea and you’re reading a book … rebekah: no, i was in it. grace: you’re in it and it’s the mostalive you would probably ever feel. i mean it’s just –

rebekah: let me tell you though. so my three-year-old,she’s three and a half. i remember every bit of pain from that birth. i remember thefear. i remember i can feel it in my chest. i had this baby three months ago. it willbe three months and a couple of days and nothing. i don’t remember – i remember all theexperiences that happened, but none of the sensations, none of the pain. as soon as i did it, i’m like, “well,maybe that day i was like we’re not doing this again.” but i known i could do it againand again. but instead i’m going to be a doula. i’m getting my doula certification.i’m going to do it with other women instead. but it was magic and i recommend it to everyone.i think that it’s almost a necessity.

grace: yeah. this is one of the reasons whyi offer this even though i haven’t had a baby myself yet. i actually view this as ahuman rights issue. the amount of women who suffer and go through pain and i’m talkingabout first world women, who are taking drugs that they don’t know, that they don’tneed to take, because they’re so afraid of the pain. the amount of women who are having c-sectionswho don’t need to have the c-sections and of course if any of these things need to happenas medical precaution, good, 100 percent! we are so lucky that we are able to take careof your health and health of your babies. but in a perfect world of everything is goingwell, these things are not necessary. but

then you move to the third world where womenare dying from fistulas and stillborn babies are just so preeminent. this doesn’t needto happen. rebekah: can i tell you something that – we’retalking about intervention. it’s that the hypnobirthing process is not only for a naturalhomebirth. it can help you through all the processes and the interventions that comealong with having a hospital birth or happen because they’re medically necessary. itjust relaxes you and prepares you for everything and then in post-partum, just that part ofrecovery and being able to cope with the changes in your body and the anxiety that comes alongwith breastfeeding or whatever or if your baby is not pooping enough.

all of these things that you learn in thehypnobirthing process will help you to deal with other anxieties in your life and rearinga child. yes. so it’s like it’s not just if you want to have a natural birth or ifyou want to have a home birth. grace: definitely. rebekah: do it for the health of your pregnancy. rebekah: it helped me through pregnancy listeningto the affirmations and telling myself that this is the body that i’m supposed to have.it’s doing what it’s supposed to do, all of those things. grace: it’s so powerful and you might livein a place where home births or a birthing

center are not an option. but you can stilldo the hypnobirth. rebekah: absolutely. grace: and i completely agree with you thatno matter what option you choose to do, this is going to improve the situation drastically.there are a couple of different ways too. there are hypnobirthing live classes, whichare things that i teach but those are obviously limited to wherever you live. rebekah: like i don’t have them in my area. grace: so you did hypnobabies, which actuallywas created by a woman who first did hypnobirthing and then she made it accessible. so whereveryou live in the world, you can get hypnobabies

right to your doorstep. there’s a bunchof cds or dvds or maybe it’s even downloadable. it’s just so powerful. it’s so beautiful.every time i hear the stories, it’s always positive, always, always positive no matterwhat happens. rebekah: i think coming from me because iwas so skeptical. rebekah: because i teach meditation but iam by no means like a hippie or like weird or anything – i’m a little bit of weirdand i’ve had multiple children. so i know the difference and it wasn’t so easy becausei had a fifth baby, because my fourth baby wasn’t easy and you mentioned that. likei already had three children, so you think the baby would just fall out of me - and theydon’t. it hurt really, really, really bad

because i had that fear. it wasn’t the naturalprocess of my body doing what it was supposed to do. it was me - getting in the way of thatprocess - that created this painful, horrific, scary birth. rebekah: very happy that i did it naturally.i would do it again, again and again obviously, because i got pregnant again. but i’m sograteful for the hypnobirthing and what that did for me. grace: so one of the things that has becomea cultural norm in the western world, at least because that’s the only thing i can reallyspeak to, are these birthing horror stories. women coming together and …

rebekah: i’ve done it. grace: oh, i was in labor for 36 hours andda-da-da. there will be people at their own baby showers who are being inundated withevery woman they’re telling their birth horror stories. some of these women – well, it’s true.first of all, they’re not lying. second of all, it’s a way of connecting but ifyou think about hypnosis and all of the videos we’ve done together, when you tell a story,you’re hypnotizing yourself. grace: and so in hypnobirthing, we have allof our mamas wear pins and there are different phrases but the basic gist is, “happy birthstories only, please. my baby is listening,”

because we’re trying to do everything wecan to keep that pain-fear-pain cycle from happening. but rather to just welcome yourbaby into the world, be calm and relaxed; be there for the pressure and the intensityand the ecstasy. so i want to really make a request that everyonehere listening even if you have been through something very challenging and you may have,go to a women’s group or go a trauma release center or do some hypnosis, but do not shareyour birthing horror stories with pregnant women. share the beauty of it and all of thepositive aspects because you want to hypnotize the mama to believe that that is what shecan expect. rebekah: it is so powerful. it’s the thingsthat we tell ourselves. that’s why i do

meditations with affirmations. the thingsthat we tell ourselves become true for us. so i did have fears surrounding the birthand i was very honest with myself. i made a promise that i wasn’t going to share thatwith other women who are about to have a baby and i wasn’t going to allow that to takeover my own thought process. so every time i had doubts, i would just usean affirmation, a positive affirmation that my body is doing what it’s supposed to do.everything is perfect in this moment. i’m safe and my baby is safe and i can’t waitto see her. grace: that’s great. rebekah: so it worked out perfectly becausei believed that it would.

rebekah: and that’s … grace: that’s all it is. grace: and of course you might have a grandmaor someone come along who’s not hip to the hypnobirthing scene and she goes on and onabout her process and you can just know. so just turn that off and the minute you getaway from there, start doing your hypno-affirmations. so it’s not like your birthing experiencewill be ruined because someone messed up and told you … rebekah: we should talk about that though,especially with doctors. rebekah: even midwives who may not believein this process.

grace: yes. there’s a lot – of coursehypnobirthing is the natural way. it’s the natural that women gave birth thousands andthousands of years ago when they squatted behind the trees, scooped up their baby andran away from the tiger. they were able to do that very quickly. but in today’s world where c-section ratesare so high, where drugs are protocol, where people are given drugs to make the birthingprocess happen faster, right away, which causes great pain, there are a lot of doctors andmidwives who might not understand your choice. but it is your choice and it’s fine if they’renot ok with it. you can still use hypnobirthing as your birth plan.

some doctors and midwives and especially doulasare going to be wonderful. you give them, “here is the language i would prefer foryou to use.” grace: here’s the process that i preferto have. and many of them will get onboard but for those who don’t, this is your choice.this is your baby. this is your life and even if they don’t get onboard, you can do hypnosisto override any of the fear mongering that happens in many of today’s hospitals. rebekah: i can tell you first of all, yes,it is your choice. it is your birth. it is your birth experience and i encourage womento shop around. you don’t have to even use the same ob or the same midwife that you usedbefore. i’ve done it before. i’ve switched

in the middle of pregnancies. if that’san option for you, you can override everything that you hear by just continuing to use theaffirmations on yourself, use the hypnosis techniques that you’ve used. my midwife was so sweet and she said, arethere any words that you want us to use or is there anything that – because she wasfamiliar with the process. and for me, i didn’t need that. rebekah: so i said, “you know what? saywhatever you have to say. don’t get tripped up. you guys do your thing and i will do mything in my head.” so they still used words like “contraction” and …

grace: push. rebekah: … “breaking my water,” andpushing. rebekah: and it didn’t affect me in theleast, because i was so into my process and so connected with my body and my baby andi knew my mission. rebekah: that nothing was going to get inthe way and i also had an understanding and compassion for their process, knowing thatmaybe if they’re changing up their routine, it might get in the way for them. grace: sure. rebekah: so i was like, “you do it.”

rebekah: we got this. and it didn’t botherme in the least to hear it. grace: that’s fantastic. rebekah: but of course everyone is different.i’ve already had a practice. rebekah: so if you don’t have a practice,you might need everyone to use the words. grace: and it makes sense because when myclients are in hypnosis and a fire truck goes blaring by and i’m like, “uh!” they– i mean they hear the fire truck but they’re staying in their process. they’re stayingin hypnosis. it still is wonderful. it doesn’t do a thing. similarly when you’re in hypnobirthing process,you are with your baby. so whether they’re

saying – in hypnobirthing, we say you’rebreathing your baby down versus pushing, because pushing might make someone think that it wouldhurt. rebekah: right. grace: but that it would be difficult. butultimately, your midwife might say, “pushing,” and you’re still in the process. you justknow you’re breathing your baby down and it doesn’t matter. everybody is differentand you don’t have to do what we say. grace: you don’t have to do what your doctorsays. it’s your birth and we just want you to know that you do have a choice. rebekah: can we talk about after the babycomes?

rebekah: so the best part. grace: so i will share – what’s so beautifulabout hypnobirthing babies too, oftentimes – not all the time. oftentimes, the processof connection with the baby and nursing is just a lot smoother. what was your experiencelike? rebekah: if you have any fears surroundingbreastfeeding at all, if you have experienced women around you who said that they couldn’tdo it or maybe you weren’t nursed or have never witnessed it, this will absolutely helpyou with your breastfeeding practice. i call it a practice because it’s something thatyou have to learn to do and i had to learn to do.

with my first baby, i was lucky enough tobe living with my mother and she nursed me until i was three years old. so she had alot of experience and my sisters as well. so she made me know. she made me know thatthis was something that i could do and that it was something that my body was made todo, and we connected, because the truth is under five percent of women actually can’tdo it because of a physical problem or a medical issue. so the vast majority of you can. knowing yourself,knowing your body, understanding that your body is there for you and is working withyou and not against you will allow you to get through all of the hurdles that come alongwith breastfeeding. it is a process. the baby

has to learn. you have to learn. with annabel, my little one now, she was nursingbefore i even delivered my placenta. that was amazing. she crawled at my belly. shedid the whole thing, the wriggle, latched on … grace: if you haven’t see that, google that. rebekah: babies can crawl from birth. it’samazing. but i have had trouble in the past and there’s an anxiety that might crop upbecause you’re thinking you’re not making enough milk. your baby is not getting fedenough and then all the other interventions, the bottles, the formula come in. your doctormight recommend them to you too because they

sense your fear. the knowing – again, the knowing and thetrusting allows you to get through this process and that’s another experience that i thinkis just not a throwaway is the nursing. it’s the connection. so once you get off throughthe hard stuff … rebekah: because the nipples hurt and thecrack and all that stuff happens. rebekah: once you get through that, it isthe most beautiful, rewarding and easy and convenient experience you will ever have.so i love hypnobirthing for that. just we’re leaving the general anxiety of pregnancy,the birthday and then also afterwards. it’s like indispensable.

grace: oh, it’s so inspiring to me. please,if any of you – since you’ve probably watched our series now, it was months andmonths and months ago. grace: some of you may have had your babysince then and … rebekah: yeah. we will link that below, ifyou haven’t seen it. yeah, definitely check for the links below for the … grace: we would love to hear your stories.really, it’s so inspiring. it’s some of the most rewarding work i do within hypnosisand i’m just so happy for you. i’m so happy that you’ve had this experience. rebekah: i’m happy for me. if you have anyquestions, because we could – we could make

10 videos on this. grace: oh, yeah. rebekah: i could talk about the birth experience… grace: all day long. rebekah: … all day long. rebekah: so if you have any questions thatwe did not cover in this video, please leave them below. definitely, definitely go visitgrace at gracesmithtv.com because she is a brilliant hypnotherapist and she can helpyou with all kinds of things, not just having a baby. so i think that’s it.

grace: yeah! rebekah: i’m all amped up. grace: you know, me too! rebekah: thanks for watching. i will see yousoon in another bexlife video.

Selfi Suswanto Friday, January 20, 2017